


Stumble

by kingcael



Category: Final Fantasy X
Genre: Gen, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-25
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-05-29 02:22:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6354934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingcael/pseuds/kingcael
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even legendary guardians choke sometimes. <br/>He was just a boy. It's easy to forget that.</p>
<p>Auron/Braska platonically or romantically depending on your taste.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stumble

**Author's Note:**

> I had a strange dream where I was floating down a rough river so.

The journey was nearly complete. The air was beginning to whisper of frost, and our travels through Macalania were led by the sight of our breath.

The rivers had yet to freeze, and flowed strong from the mountains in the west. Jecht joked about going for a swim, Braska chuckled, and told him to dress warmly for it.

I found the crystal clear waters calming, something pure and purposeful I could focus on instead of the turmoil in my mind.

There were several rotted-out bridges spaced along the river, and we had set up camp for the evening near one of the largest. The roar of the river made me feel small.

I was completely lost in thought when Braska and Jecht were discussing firewood and meal preparation. We were getting close to Bevelle. I wondered if Braska would want to stop to see Yuna. I wondered if I could convince him to, and he would abandon this pilgrimage.

“-paying attention at all, Auron?” Jecht’s voice, directed at me, shook me out of my own mind.

“What?” I asked, more sharply than I meant.

“Ah, never mind!” Jecht shook his head, and clapped me on the shoulder. “Take a night off, man.”

I nodded, and wandered off to the broken bridge, the sound of the water silencing my footsteps. I could hear the murmur of their conversation, but didn’t listen carefully enough to make anything out. I sat, leaning against the pier. My boots just barely skimmed the surface of the water.

I wished I could stop him. I wished I could bring him back to Yuna, and leave him there. I could become a Summoner myself and defeat Sin. I had no one that would mourn my death. No family to wish me back. It made more sense.

Yuna would prefer her father to the Calm. She should have him, until he’s old and grey. He brought her a Calm every day. She must be so lonely now.

And yet… he’s still marching to his death.

Braska joined me after a few minutes, and sat down close enough that his robes brushed against my bare arm.

We sat together in silence for what felt like hours until he spoke.

“You’re sad, aren’t you, Auron?”

I turned my head to look at him, and he smiled. I loved his smile, the way his eyes crinkled up on the sides, and his crooked teeth. I tried to smile back, but I felt it didn’t reach my eyes.

He noticed of course, and his hand ghosted over my cheek, his thumb brushing over my eyebrow. “Ah, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“My Lord…” I began, and he moved his hand to cradle my face. His hand was warm, and soft. Comforting. He was the only person I could tolerate being this close. He stroked an errant strand of hair from my face, and he searched for eye contact I was hesitant to give. Eventually, I gave in, and looked at him. His eyes were sparkling, like stars in a clear blue sky. 

“Please, Auron. After all this, we are equals. Please be direct with me.”

“I don’t want to see you die for the sake of the Calm. It’s not worth your life,” I said, my voice quiet and fast.

He was quiet for a moment, folding his hands in his lap, and his eyes dropped to my shoulder instead of meeting my gaze. “I understand how you feel. But the Calm is something I know I can bring, so I must. Does that make sense?”

“It does. I understand. But I still must ask that you do not continue.” I knew it was selfish of me to ask him that. There was nothing that could challenge his will. Not even me. It made me angry, that he addressed me as an equal, but would not accept my counsel.

“I must go on. I cannot let another summoner die for Sin, when I know I could have done it.”

“Do you want to die?!” I exploded, grabbing both his wrists. I shook him, and he stared at me, frozen in shock. “Is that what this is?! Just an excuse to die with a noble cause? Why are you so determined to die for Yuna when she needs you alive?”

Braska’s face became impassive, and he stiffened under my grasp. I regretted the words that made his face change in such a way.

“You don’t understand,” Braska said coldly. He twisted his wrists out of my grasp, and stood. “You don’t have children, you could never understand.”

“You’re right!” I stood too, my face reddening. Anguish and anger were butting heads in my heart, and raw emotion tore my throat. “I don’t understand. Certainly if you have children, you’d want to protect them, so why did you leave her? Why are you planning on leaving her forever?”

Braska looked furious for a moment. His face was usually so guarded, with that placid smile pasted firmly in place that betrayed nothing of his true feelings. It was almost elating to see something genuine from him. His fury faded quickly, leaving only what I knew to be his true heart, a gentle sorrow.

“For her hope,” he said softly, his voice cracking. Tears tumbled down his cheeks, and he continued. “I want her to know a world of peace. Even if Sin does come back, she can remember the feeling of peace, and she can have hope. She’s known nothing but fear. Sin has taken her hope.”

I pressed my lips together, and wrung my hands, wishing I hadn’t said anything. “I am sorry for questioning you, my Lord Summoner.” I used his title purposely, emphasizing my deference. I bowed my head, and then knelt. “I spoke out of line.”

I could feel heat blazing on my face, burning beneath my skin and smoking tears to my eyes. I wished he had stayed angry. His anger was bright, and righteous. His pain was too close to my own heart, and it was agony to look at.

I had to leave before he said anything else. I stood and turned, not daring to look at him, and strode away, towards the trees that clustered around the river’s edge. Thoughts pounded a rhythm in my mind. I couldn’t believe what I had said.

A guardian should never bring their Summoner to tears. I failed him.

Braska has only ever had kind words for me, soft smiles, and gentle reassurances. And I repay him with… with my own weakness and fear, lashing out, proving to him that I’m useless, cowardly, _pathetic_.

I wanted to be his shield, but I might as well have been made of glass.

I didn’t know how far I walked before I stopped. The river was still beside me, so I could easily find my way back. Would he have me? Should I just keep walking away? I scrubbed my face, trying to collect myself. Of course I should return. Braska would be gracious, and Jecht would make a joke, and it would all go back to normal.

I’ll be stronger than before. I know Braska’s reason. I can defend him to… to the death knowing his conviction. I took a deep breath, and turned on my heel.

I hadn’t even noticed the Chimera until I was staring into its yellow eyes inches from my own.

My sword… it was back at the camp. More proof of the incompetent guardian.

“Don’t move,” I said calmly, staring it down. I looked around for anything I could defend myself with. There was only bushes and trees, the odd mossy clump.

The Chimera seemed to be considering me, and there was a moment of tense silence before it struck. I leapt backwards, and put my arm up, as a minimal defence. The flat teeth of the bull’s head clamped against my bare forearm, the force enough to split my skin. The snake tail snapped forward, its teeth scraping and puncturing my skin several times. I could already feel the venom cold in my veins. I gasped, and swung hard with my other arm, my fist connecting painfully with the side of the bull’s head. It loosened its bite enough that I shook myself free, my arm already pulsing with pain. I side-stepped behind a small tree, with my back to the river, peeking around the tree for an escape. The Chimera charged, and knocked the tree over, which crashed into my shoulder, and across the rushing water.

I landed heavily on the ground, and heard my left shoulder crunch. The Chimera was on top of me, four heads snapping with delight. My arms were pinned underneath its clawed hands, and the bull head seemed to smile, showing too many teeth. It's breath was vile, a mixture of all four fiends.

I strained, and managed to get my legs free, delivering a double kick right into the Chimera’s chest. It reared back, and I stumbled to my feet, turning to run.

“Auron!” Jecht’s voice, and then another impact, blasting me off my feet. In the air, I could feel flames tearing at my skin and clothes, and a scream stuck in my throat, blocked by the fire that engulfed every part of me.

The searing heat was short lived, instantly doused by the freezing shock of the river. It was like falling into a river of swords. I hit something solid, and grasped it, straining to keep my head above the water. My left arm was useless, bent and awkward in the water, streaking bright red with the flow.

The icy water slapped me countless times, frothing above and below me, trying to force me under. I gripped harder to what I realised was the fallen tree, as the river took me, and bashed me on the rocks.

Ah, Yevon. Is this my penance for speaking to my Summoner like I did?

I accept my punishment. Perhaps this water flows to the Via Purifico. Certainly where I deserve to be.

I heard Jecht’s voice again, and I tried to reply, but the water filled my mouth, and I slipped beneath the surface. It was quiet for a moment. I floated, numb, peaceful. There was a bright white light, and I reached for it.

A holy light.

Holy.

Of course. They came to save me. We are equals.

The river swung my body, and I felt a hard strike on the top of my head.

Dark.

 

o-o-o-o-o-o

 

I was coughing before I was awake, and there was water in my throat. I choked, and rolled over, throwing up what felt like half the river. I felt two sets of hands on me, and a number of soothing words. My friends.

When the pain hit, I wished it was enough to knock me out again. Braska’s magic worked over me, mending the broken bones and skin.

“What the hell, Auron?” Jecht said, his voice rough and his hands soft. “Didn’t even bring your sword! You losing it, or what?”

I didn’t reply, and that was answer enough.

Braska said something, and then Jecht lifted me, and began walking. It was a more serene weightlessness than floating in the river. I drifted into darkness again, resting my head on Jecht’s shoulder.

 

o-o-o-o-o-o

 

When I awoke next, I was warm and comfortable. The radiant heat of a large fire covered me, as if I had just sunk into a hot bath.

Braska and Jecht had apparently removed my wet clothes, and I was cloaked in Braska’s robe with both of their blankets around me as well.

I could hear them speaking, and feigned sleep to listen.

“He is so young, but what he said… it’s true.” Braska kept his voice low, I could feel his gaze on me. “His heart is breaking, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“He’s always going on about duty, and the temple, and stuff like that.” Jecht’s voice was quiet, but there was nothing soft about it. “It must be tough, going against your faith ‘cause it wants your friend to die.”

“I think… his faith was shaken before we left,” Braska said slowly. I could just imagine him tracing his lips with his fingers as he did when he was considering his words carefully.

“Right, he was kicked out, huh?” Jecht asked.

“Yes.”

“I kinda remember you saying something about it. Cause he wouldn’t get married? Can’t even picture it,” Jecht chortled. “Grumpy groom.”

“He refused a marriage that was purely political. I believe the girl was kind, and sweet, but he couldn’t force himself to love her.”

“So, uh…” Jecht began, and hesitated, which was unusual for him. “That scar, brand thing on his wrist…”

“The Mark of the Dismissed,” Braska said. “It is… shameful for him. He keeps it hidden, perhaps to spare questions or hostility.”

“I only saw it the one time,” Jecht said. I listened carefully, wondering where I had slipped up. “In Besaid, when he fell asleep on the beach.”

“Ah, that would be my fault. I convinced him to enjoy himself,” Braska said. “But… I fear I may have upset him then.”

“I dunno, I think he should wear his scars proudly! That’s what I do!”

“I suppose…” Braska paused, and I could hear him take a drink of something. “Ugh, this Ether tastes awful.”

“I like it!” Jecht said. “Tastes like that potato booze we had in Zanarkand.”

Braska chuckled. “At any rate, I think I can finish healing him. I should probably make sure his shoulder was set properly. Will you help me?”

I pretended to awaken when they drew near, and Braska spoke kindly, as if he were speaking to Yuna. “Auron, you frightened us. How are you feeling?”

“My Lord,” I said, before coughing throatily. My chest burned, and I tried to cover my mouth as the coughing continued, but my left arm was immobile.

“You broke your arm again,” Braska said, placing his hand on my shoulder. It was warm with a healing spell.

I nodded, and tried to sit up. At least if I could do that I wouldn’t feel so helpless.

“No, what are you doing? Lay back down,” Braska chided, guiding me back down. I relented, and allowed him to examine my arm. “It’s always this arm, isn’t it? Perhaps you should wear armour on it from now on.”

Jecht laughed, and returned to the fire. I could smell soup, strong with spices and onions. Jecht’s cooking was usually spicy. “I dunno, Braska! I think he just needs to be more careful, huh? I mean, I’m fine, and I’m hardly even wearing anything!”

Braska shook his head, smiling gently as he unwrapped the bandages on my arm. It smelled like rotten meat, and I turned my head away, towards the smell of Jecht’s soup.

“The venom, it’s resisting Esuna, and we only have one antidote… I’m sorry, my friend, it will be uncomfortable until we reach… a town,” Braska said, dabbing at the punctures with the antidote.

“Bevelle?” I asked, meeting his eyes.

He stopped for a moment, and then nodded. “…yes, Bevelle.”

His voice, the way his eyes grew sad. He was obviously remembering what I shouted at him. A pain in my heart flared, and I grabbed his hands frantically with my right hand. “My Lord! I’m sorry, my- Braska, I didn’t-“

“Hush,” he whispered, returning my grip. “It’s alright.” It must have been apparent that I was still distraught, as he murmured soothing words, and stroked my hair. His instincts must dictate these actions. I imagine this was how Yuna felt, waking from a nightmare, filled with fear, only to be comforted by her father.

I have to think of something.

I have to keep him from dying.

For her sake.

For Yuna.


End file.
